We hear a lot about the “War on Christmas” this time of year, so I’ve created this handy questionnaire to help people determine if their holiday is under attack, ranked in order of severity.
Can you answer yes to any of the following statements?
- If other people near my residence discover me celebrating said holiday, it is statistically probable I will be tortured, maimed, and/or murdered
- I am forbidden to teach my children about my holiday
- My children must learn to celebrate (not acknowledge or learn about the existence of) holidays other than my own
- I could lose my job if my employer discovers I celebrate my holiday
- My religion explicitly forbids me from doing a thing or requires me to do a thing on my holiday, but to maintain economic, social, emotional, or physical well being, I must do/not do it anyway
- If I tell others that I celebrate my holiday, I will lose social standing
- I am forced to celebrate (not acknowledge the existence of) a holiday that contradicts my religious belief or else I risk physical, emotional, economic, or social consequences
- I am forbidden to decorate spaces I control with my holiday’s decor
If you answered yes to any of the above statements, your holiday may be under attack.
Here’s what is NOT an attack on your holiday
- Other people can answer yes to more of the above questions than I can and that makes me uncomfortable
- Other people, businesses, or agencies do not also celebrate my holiday or force others to pretend to celebrate it to make my month more festive.
- Other people do not celebrate it correctly or understand the real meaning of my holiday
- Other people do not celebrate my holiday enthusiastically enough
- Other people acknowledge or even celebrate other holidays
- Other people don’t specifically wish me my specific happy holiday
- Other people do not decorate for my specific holiday in spaces that I do not control
- Other people decorate for their own holidays instead in spaces that I do not control
- Other people do not play my holiday music is spaces that I do not control
- Schools and retailers do not acknowledge or celebrate my holiday on days that are NOT your holiday (i.e no Christmas plays or parties on December 16th)
- My employer asks that I am respectful to holidays other than my own while in their space or representing something my employer
Please do not say your holiday or religious belief is under attack if your biggest problem is that other people are not making life festive enough for you. It’s incredibly entitled, not to mention it draws attention away from people of all religious affiliations who have are actually putting their lives, health, economic, emotional, or social status in danger to acknowledge their holidays. Instead, do some good. Every time you hear a holiday greeting that offends you, donate your time or money to a religious organization of your choice that uses its resources to help the victims of actual religious persecution. You’ll make the world a better place, and if that’s not in keeping with the holiday spirit, whatever holiday you celebrate, I don’t know what is.