Thursday Review: Traffic Jam

The world echoed, faded, and went dark”First, what an awesome line! Sorry, writer fan girl moment. Back to serious review stuff.I had no idea what I was getting into when I picked up Traffic Jam. This was not my happy young adult world of cool powers, and romantic relationships (though there is a bit of romance). This was a much darker, much more realistic place that we all like to pretend doesn’t exist.

Groeling writes dread well. I read this book with baited breath and a twisted stomach, terrified at what I’d find on the next page but unable to stop reading. The book was well named on a bunch of levels and reading it was like driving by a car accident, in a really good way. I had the same feeling when I read The Lovely Bones. The subject matter was horrific, but the writing was beautiful, the plot compelling, and the characters felt real. They mattered.

Val was amazing. I love how real her reactions felt. She would see something and freeze, or become speechless, and later, when she had time to process what was happening, furious and protective, and fierce and vulnerable.

As far as the subject matter goes, Groeling handled that with a skilled hand. The content was horrifying, but never gratuitous. No lines were crossed, in fact the book was downright chaste.

I keep talking about the subject matter, so I want to be clear that this book isn’t just an issue book. I never felt like I was being preached at or given a public service announcement. I never had a secret life of the american teenager moment, where in the middle of the story a random character starts spitting out statistics and medical stuff. This was a story that happened to surround an issue, not an issue with a plot to inform and interest the masses.

I could write about this book all day, but the gist of it is I couldn’t put it down. I really wouldn’t be surprised to see this novel become the next big thing everyone’s talking about.

Want to learn more about Melissa Groeling? Click here.

Sick

I am sick. It’s just a cold, but I feel like I’m on deaths door. It’s amazing how easy it is to wave off colds. How quickly I forget. Scratchy throat, headache, stuffy nose, ugh. Luckily my cold waited until the end of my super busy week to smack me down. Unfortunately it didn’t notify my daughter that Mommy needs rest. It also doesn’t care all that much about the book I’m working on.

I’m experimented with the point of view in the third book. I was torn between a dual narrative between Hades and Persephone, or Aphrodite and Persephone. Now I’m thinking of doing all three. Crazy? Probably, but I’ll get the official verdict from my writers group next Saturday. IF I can get over this cold long enough to write. 

Ugh…

Bonus Excerpt

Just an excerpt from the young adult novel, Persephone. You can buy it here if you like it:

“How beautiful.”
I jumped, spinning around to face the man on the other side of the counter. “I’m sorry?”
“The flowers.” He gave me a strange look. “They’re beautiful. Poppies and daffodils, right?”
I made a noncommittal noise, and he smiled as if pleased to have guessed right. “It looks great. You have a real gift.”
“Thank you.” I was sure my face was bright red. I’d jumped like the devil himself had patted my shoulder. Now this guy probably thought I was crazy too.
That would be a tragedy. His eyes were the precise shade of liquid gold as Orpheus’. With the exception of his angular face, short haircut, and leaner physique, he could be Orpheus. I wonder if theyre related.
Horrified, I realized I was staring. “Oh…uh…how can I help you?” I tucked a wavy strand of hair behind my ear.
His eyes twinkled in amusement. My cheeks heated as I realized a guy as hot as him must be used to shop girls getting flustered for different reasons than being caught off guard. I glanced at the antique golden bell against the door, cursing myself for being so wrapped up in the stupid flowers that I hadn’t heard it ring when he came in.
“…arrangement to be delivered next weekend,” he was saying, leaning on the counter.
“Of course.” I took a breath to pull myself together. I fished the pen and ordering pad from the pocket of my apron, gathering confidence from the familiar routine. “Can I get your first and last name?”
“Pirithous,” he answered, spelling it for me. He looked down to read the name emblazoned on my chest. “Pleased to meet you, Persephone,” he said, pronouncing it Purse-a-phone.
I ground my teeth together. My mother refused to change the monogrammed name on my apron to Kora. It was getting to the point where I was thinking of getting it fixed myself.
“It’s Persephone,” I corrected. “Kind of like Stephanie. What’s the occasion?” I held the pen poised over the paper.
He grinned and ran his fingers through his golden hair. “My mother’s birthday.”
My eyes widened as I realized why he thought I’d asked. With more emphasis than the situation called for, I wrote “mother’s birthday” on the appropriate line to show him I’d been asking professionally, not fishing to see if he was single.
My face stayed red throughout the ordering process because Pirithous kept teasing me or misinterpreting my questions. I grew angry when I realized he was enjoying seeing me so flustered.
I gave him an innocent smile and dropped his change into his open hand. Pirithous closed it as the cold quarters touched his skin. His fingers brushed against mine. He grinned and, for the first time since he’d walked in the flower shop, looked into my eyes.
His pupils widened and he quickly closed his eyes, looking away from me. “I don’t believe it.”
“No, really,” I babbled, so fast the words ran together. “I just turned sixteen this March. My mom’s a bit paranoid, but you can’t blame her with the university down the street and frat boys all over town.”
“He was right! A daughter of Zeus. I didn’t think there were any left.”
Speaking of frat boys“Isn’t it a little late in the semester for pledging?”
His hand wrapped around my wrist like an iron vice. “Let me go,” he demanded, eyes glittering.
“After you!” I struggled to pull my hand free.
He laughed. “You have no idea, do you? What you are? What you’ve done? Oh that’s right, you can’t lie. You’re really sixteen.” He shook his head as though in disbelief. “Even better. I thought he’d sent me on a fool’s errand. Everyone knows Zeus is dead, but here you are—” his eyes glittered maniacally “—my chance at immortality.”
I yanked my arm back but he didn’t let go. Panic flooded my chest. “Are you high? Let me go!”
I struggled against his grip as he pulled me around the counter. “You’re mine. I found you first. You belong to me!”
I grabbed the counter with my free hand. My fingers closed around a pen, and with more strength than I thought possible I slammed it into his arm.
He howled in pain and I ripped my arm free and scrambled back behind the counter. I yanked open a drawer, spilling the contents, searching for the small knife I used for cutting wires and flower stems. I caught a glimpse of the green handle and grabbed it.
“Stay back!” I waved the arrangement knife in his direction.
“Persephone?” my mother called, throwing open the storage room door. “Is everything—” She looked from Pirithous’ bleeding arm to the knife poised in the air.
I moved between him and my mother. “I’m calling the cops!” I fished my cell phone out of my apron pocket.
That seemed to penetrate Pirithous’ maniac rage enough for him to look up at me, eyes saturated with hate. “I’ll be back for you,” he hissed, then ran out the door.
“Like hell,” I muttered, locking the door behind him.

It’s a small world…

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I cannot believe this happened. It’s too funny! In an effort to perfect my daughters Halloween costume (yes, I plan ahead, and?) I have been searching for the perfect rapunzel crown. Disney, who is generally great at marketing, just hasnt released one that looks remotely like the one from the movie. It’s not a huge deal, but if I’m shelling out money for a toy crown, I’d rather it look like the right one.

I found this picture on google images. Finally! The right crown, but i couldn’t find a place to order it online. So Isent it to some friends who live near Disney stores. One of these friends live in California, and visited her Disney store this weekend. When she showed the picture to the guy behind the register he burst out laughing.

“What?” She asked.
“That’s my picture. That’s my hand and that door.”

Turns out, this random guy in a California Disney store took a picture in 2010 at the disney store, posted it somewhere online and never thought of it again.

In 2012 I found it attached to a wiki about tangled. Not from this guy. The photograph traveled across space and time and eventually landed right back where it came from.

Crazy small world.

Unfortunately, this crown is no longer made by Disney. So all that small world was and the search was moot.

Oh well.

Fortune Cookies

My husband got an awesome fortune cookie today. It said “you will perform very well on a test, which will lead to a more positive outlook and financial relief. My husband is in the middle of a series of tests which could lead to paychecks, so this was a surprisingly relevant and very welcome fortune cookie.

Bella’s fortune said she had a secret admirer. She probably does. My toddler is a shameless flirt.

My fortune, “Discontentment and anger breeds change in a nation.” fantastic, so we’re going to war soon? I’ve got a bad history with fortune cookies. That got me thinking about a place I used to eat at when I lived in Columbus. I don’t remember the name of the actual restaurant. But it should have been called the creepy fortune place.

My first fortune there was blank. Cause that’s not ominous. My second one was a bit more direct.

“live today, because you won’t tomorrow.”

Yeah, I was eager to leave my home the next day. Let me tell you.

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Okay, maybe a bit less ominous on the heels of the other two, but still!

And the last one before I got the hint and started frequenting restaurants with happier fortunes, “Enjoy your life while it lasts.”

Anyone else got a great/creepy fortune to share?

How not to handle your edits

I was recently in a position to see how another writer I know handled their first round of content edits, and it went badly. The editor requested several changed in the manuscript, and offered suggestions on how to make the changes, but was clear that the changes needed to be made in the writer’s own words. The suggestions were pretty basic. Move this sentence here, incorporate action, add description. Very basic edits that. To my surprise the writer was offended. The writer wrote comments in the margins questioning the editors experience, taste, and knowledge of the market. Unsurprisingly, the writer’s contract was suspended.

Content edits aren’t like a critique from a writers group. You can disagree here and there and discuss it, but to say no to everything is just immature. Once your book is under contract, pretty much what they say goes. That doesn’t mean you lose creative control, but if you can’t handle constructive criticism, than you’re in the wrong business.

That awkward feeling when you reread old work

 

While I’m waiting on edits for Persephone, I’ve been spending a lot of time writing articles and short stories to keep my name out there. I use duotrope.com to keep up with my submissions, and keep an eye on new markets.

I was thrilled to see a call for submissions for a super hero anthology. A few years ago I wrote a story about a group of super heroes stuck in a kind of “Three Blind Mice” situation. I wrote it, tried to get it published, and eventually gave up, because there just wasn’t a market for it. But this anthology would be perfect!

So I open the file and reread it. It was painful. I… I don’t even know how to describe how badly written this story was. I’m revising it now, but it’s going to be awhile before this story gets out of urgent care and into the hands of a publisher.

Beyond being embarrassed, I’m worried. Is it really that bad because I’ve improved, or with enough time and distance would the stuff I’m writing now look just as bad? And is that a good thing or a bad thing? The mistakes I made on this story were truly amature, so in a way its a good thing I’m humiliated because I’m improving. So if in a few years I look back on my work now and get embarressed then that means I’ll have improved more, right?

But it also still kind of means that something I wrote sucked. Not that big of a deal with an unpublished story I can revise to my hearts content, but what about my published work? It’s out there as is forever now. Whatever I learn in the future can’t be applied to it.

Scary thought.

Run for your life!

So a few weeks ago, I got to run from zombies. I’ve always been afraid of zombies, pod people, or any instance of the entire world turning against you. I’m not sure what that says about me, but the sense of hopelessness that comes with a zombie apocalypse is just creepy.

When I heard about a 5k where you get to run from zombies, I went all in. I guess I’m a conquer your fears type girl. I’m also the type of person that likes to drag others in with me. I pestered a few friends until they signed up, and off to run from the zombies we went.

The weather was abysmal. It was wet, and muddy. I can’t even describe HOW muddy. There were puddles deeper than I am. It was like… A swamp. It was ridiculous. There was no running. Zombies ate me and my friends within the first three obstacles. Luckily, by flirting with zombies, you can sometimes get a flag back. Apparently getting soaked and covered in mud from head to toe is a good look for me, because no one ever flirts with me outside of mud soaked zombie invasions. Maybe it just takes an apocalypse?

I climbed up unstable rope net things, was helped over a really tall hay bale…. by a zombie. Swam across a lake, and slid down a mud slide. I had a blast, and I’ll do it again next year.

One thing I did learn from the experience though, I would not survive in the event of a zombie apocalypse. I need more training. Fortunately, there’s an app for that. I downloaded zombies run! And now run to the sound of zombies chasing me every day. One day I might be fast enough to survive.

Maybe.