For Real Friday: Belonging

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I was going to interrupt this for real Friday on how demigods and their modern day equivalents appeal to the universal feeling of being out of place with some pretty major news from my publisher. But then I realized I was still somewhat on topic.

I once attended a workshop by Terry Kay, a fantastic writer of great renown. He walked the workshop through a creative writing exercise with the theme of isolation. When it came to choosing a setting, he was unsurprised when we picked a high school cafeteria. “That’s what everyone picks,” he explained. The loneliest place to be is in a crowd.

Everyone can relate to demigods or super heroes or whatever modern equivalent you want to consider because most of the time their central conflict revolves around a sense of not belonging. Of straddling the line between two worlds and not fully belonging in either. It’s not surprising that most hero stories these days double as coming of age adventures. Persephone wasn’t just struggling with trying to balance her human and divine roles, she struggled with growing up. Leaving who she was behind for who she’d be and trying to like who she is.

It’s not a fun feeling,but there’s a reason it’s a universal experience. Everyone goes through it. I know that knowing that it gets better and that everyone feels like they don’t belong at one point in another during their life only helps so much, but it’s also the only assurance everyone can offer from personal experience.

Somewhat on the topic of feeling out of place is the news I got this morning. Today my publishing house announced they will close at the end of the month and the rights to my series would revert back to me. I was worried something like this might happen, which is why I declined Musa’s offer on Venus and Adonis and have been attempting to query Venus and Adonis with other publishers, but I also know realistically, there’s not a lot of interest in book four of a series. Now, I can query the entire series as a whole and hope for the best or I can choose to self-publish.

I like being published. And while I know self-published authors are writing amazing books and doing really well with them, I liked being able to say I had a publisher, no matter how small. I know I’m not the only one dealing with mixed feelings this morning. Musa had a fairly extensive and supportive staff that worked very hard. Plus hundreds of authors with hundreds of orphaned books. But, like everything else I know eventually, it’ll get better. We’ll figure out what to do next, and who knows. Maybe sometime soon, Persephone and Venus and Adonis will pop on on a physical bookshelf somewhere.

Wish me luck.

Mythology Monday: Demeter

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I kept trying to get over seventeen years of deception. But somehow knowing it was in my best interest wasn’t enough to forgive her for keeping my divinity…my life…everything about me a secret. She’d let me think I was human, but I wasn’t, and some part of me had always felt different from all the people around me, so I’d just grown up thinking I was a freak. That something was wrong with me. As much as I wanted to make things right between me and my mom again, I didn’t think that was something I could get over.

I took a final look at my mother’s silhouette in the doorway and tightened my grip on the steering wheel.
Hades followed my gaze. “She was trying to protect you.”
“I know. That’s the worst part. I’m just tired of her deception. I mean, keeping the fact that I was a goddess from me my whole life was one thing, but to still keep something from me? That’s just…” I couldn’t put words to the feelings that were bothering me.
“You wanted her to be as honest as you’ve always perceived her to be.”
“Yes.”
“It could be worse.”
“How?”
“My father ate me.”

~@~

The treatment of Demeter in retellings is always interesting to me. I’ve read versions where she’s an overprotective helicopter mom who loved her daughter more than words can express, and I’ve read versions where she was more possessive of Persephone than caring. Persephone was hers and no one else could have her. But she’s always, always, always, portrayed as an extreme, borderline irrational, over-protective parent, and that never made sense to me.

It is true that Demeter kept her daughter from the rest of the Pantheon, and she turned down several offers from gods to court Persephone. But the Pantheon was horrible. Almost every goddess in Greek mythology suffered rape or sexual assault, including Demeter, who was raped by Poseidon in horse form (don’t ask). The gods of the pantheon lied, cheated, and fought with no regard for the people caught in the middle. Demeter’s experience with the gods of Olympus was not a pleasant one. It makes complete sense she’d keep her daughter as far away from them as possible.

When Demeter’s daughter went missing, she scoured the earth in search for Persephone in the guise of an elderly woman named Doso. At one point in her search, she stayed with a lovely woman who had an infant son. As a thank you, Demeter planned to make the child immortal by anointing him in ambrosia and burning away his mortal self over an open fire. His mom walked in on her baby roasting over the flames and flipped out. Demeter backed off the immortality bit and instead taught the child ( Triptolemus) to farm then returned to her search.

See, At first she didn’t know that Persephone was in the Underworld or that Zeus had a role in putting her there. And for a while, no one told her. That seems cruel, and it is, but here’s the thing about Demeter.

She was terrifying.

Demeter once cursed a man with eternal life an eternal hunger because he trampled her fields and threatened one of the Melissae (Priestesses of Demeter). She was an incredibly powerful goddess that predated the Pantheon. The Greek’s and Roman’s worked her in where they could, which is why her role varies from telling to telling, but one thing came across loud and clear in every myth. If you mess with Demeter, there are serious consequences.

Eventually, Demeter did discover Persephone’s whereabouts, who told her varies depending on the myth, but the first thing the proud goddess did upon finding out was ascend to Olympus and ask Zeus to help her retrieve their daughter. When he refused, she begged, not realizing Zeus was half the equation that put her there.

That’s when she learned the terrible truth. Her daughter had been sold to the Lord of the Underworld by the very father Demeter had worked so hard to shelter her child from. Demeter was enraged so she hit Zeus where it hurt. His worshipers. Demeter showed Zeus exactly why it was a bad idea to mess with her. She needed to show him how much the pantheon depended on living in her good graces. So she went on strike. Crops stopped growing and people started starving. Tragic for the people, but Demeter was speaking the language the gods understood. Collateral damage. It worked. Zeus relented and sent Hermes to retrieve the Goddess of Spring.

Unfortunately, since Persephone had eaten the food of the Underworld, she couldn’t escape completely. She had to return every year for 3-6 months depending on the myth. During that time, Demeter mourns and crops stop growing.

In my version of Persephone, Demeter shelters her daughter by not telling her that she’s a goddess. She wasn’t planning on keeping it from her forever. Just long enough for her to have a normal childhood. Since in my version, the gods are mostly dead and the humans are unaware of their existence, Persephone needed to know how to blend. Demeter deceives Persephone in a lot of ways, violates her trust, and actually put her child in danger due to her ignorance, but she did it out of love. I tried to keep it balanced. I tried not to portray her as an extreme helicopter mom or an over possessive proud woman living vicariously through her daughter, but as a mom, struggling to make the very best choices for her child. Sometimes succeeding, and sometimes failing.

I try not to judge Demeter in either my version or the original myth. If my daughter went missing, I wouldn’t hesitate to scorch the earth if I thought that would bring her back. If telling my daughter the truth could possibly hurt her, I’d hesitate. What would you do in Demeter’s place?

I try not to judge Demeter in either my version or the original myth. If my daughter went missing, I wouldn’t hesitate to scorch the earth if I thought that would bring her back. If telling my daughter the truth could possibly hurt her, I’d hesitate. What would you do in Demeter’s place?

Mythology Monday: Persephone

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I touched the flower, feeling the silky petal brush against my hand. The wind pushed me forward forcefully. My bag of pomegranate seeds blew over, spilling around the poppy. My dress flapped against my ankles as chills shot across my skin. I heard crackling and spun around to see the ground freezing around the flower.
The frost crept toward me. The branches above me stretched toward my face, ice inching along the branches. I heard a loud snap and a massive branch broke from the tree and hurtled toward my head.
I screamed and stumbled backward. The branch crashed in front of me, scraping my legs. I ran for the parking lot as fast as I could. The frost closed in, surrounding me. I’d never been claustrophobic, but as the frost cut off my escape path with a solid white wall, I panicked.
Fog rolled in, like cold death, cutting off my view of the park. It curled around me, brushing against my face, arms, and legs. I turned back to the tree and ran faster, my dress tangling between my legs as the fog and icy wind blew against my skin.

The parking lot is the other way! my mind screamed. The other way was cut off by a mountain of ice. I felt as if I was being herded. By ice?
I slipped on the icy ground, falling face first into the frost. Ice crept up my toes and along my legs. I thrashed and screamed. I felt the fog becoming a solid mass above me, pinning me to the ground. The ice piled around me. Am I going to be buried alive?
I dug my nails into the frigid snow in front of me and tried to claw my way out of the frosted death trap. I was so panicked I didn’t feel it when my nails broke against the impenetrable wall of ice, leaving red crescents of blood welling up on sensitive skin. An hysterical sob worked its way out of my throat as I gouged red lines into the ice. The ice was above my knees, snaking its way up my thighs. I shivered.
Shivering’s good, I reminded myself. It means your body hasn’t given up…yet. The cold was painful, like a thousand little knives pricking my skin. A violent tremor went up my spine, sending waves of pain through me.

“Help me!” I screamed, knowing it was futile. I was going to die here.

Except I couldn’t die. Could I? Mom said I was immortal, but was that all-inclusive? Did I have a weakness? Was snow my Kryptonite? If I got hurt, would I heal or would I be trapped in an injured body in pain forever?

I suddenly didn’t know if immortality was a good thing or a bad thing. The cold hurt. I was kicking, screaming, and clawing my way out of the frost, but for every inch I gained a mountain piled around me. I thought I heard a man’s laughter on the wind, the sound somehow colder than the ice freezing me into place.
The ground before my outstretched hand trembled. The shaking increased. The earth lurched beneath me. The surface cracked and the sound was so loud that for a moment all I could hear was high-pitched ringing in my ears. The ground split into an impossibly deep crevice. My voice went hoarse from screaming as I peered into the endless abyss, trapped and unable to move away from the vertigo-inducing edge. A midnight black chariot, drawn by four crepuscular horses that looked like they’d been created out of the night sky, surged from the crevice. I ducked my head into the snow with a frightened whimper as they passed over my prone body.
The fog around me dissipated as the ice melted away from my body. Terrified, I sprang to my feet, stopping when I was eye-to-eye with one of the frightening horses pulling the chariot. For a moment I could do nothing but stare into its huge, emotionless eyes. A strangled whimper tore from my throat and the horse snorted at me.
They weren’t black; they weren’t anything. They were an absence of color and of light, a nauseating swirling void. They hurt to look at. My head ached, and my stomach lurched in mutiny. I clenched my fists and turned to the driver.

His electric blue eyes met mine, and he seemed to see everything I’d done and everything I’d ever do. I had the strange sensation I’d been judged and found wanting. No way this guy was human. His skin could have been carved from marble; his hair was the same disorienting black as the horses. A terrifying power emanated from his tall, statuesque frame.

I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move. His ebony cape billowed behind him as he marched toward me. At the grasp of his hand I snapped back to life and jerked away from him.
“We have to get out of here.”
“Let me go!” I yelled, yanking my arm away. He closed in on me, pushing me toward the chariot. I struggled against him, shrieking with rage when he picked me up and slung me over his back like a sack of potatoes.
I punched his back, kicking my legs. “Let me go! Someone help me! Help!”
I recalled the instructor of some self-defense class long lost in memory reminding me dead weight was harder to carry than a thrashing captive. My body rebelled at the idea of going limp so I pushed aside his cape, pulled his shirt up and raked my torn and ragged nails across his bare skin. His hands jerked in surprise and I slid off his back and onto the hard ground.

My breath left my body as I hit the ground with enough force to make me dizzy. With strength I didn’t know I possessed, I scrambled away, clawing at him as he pulled me back.
“Enough!” he shouted. “We don’t have time for this! I have to get you out of here!”
“No!” I yelled. Did he really just expect me to go Okay, strange creepy man, I’ll get in your scary chariot of death. No problem?
His furtive gaze took in the empty park, and he swore in a voice as smooth as silk. “I’m sorry.”
My eyes widened in surprise as his lips pressed against mine. I went wild, hitting and scratching and pushing for all I was worth. He didn’t budge. He exhaled, and I sank lifelessly into his arms.

~@~

Kore/Kora as she was called before her rise to Queen of the Underworld, was the Goddess of Spring, and by all accounts gorgeous. Almost every god wanted to court her, but her mother, Demeter, was determined to keep her child sheltered from the corruption of Olympus. Little did Demeter know that Zeus had already negotiated their daughter’s hand in marriage to Hades, Lord of the Underworld.

Technically, as her father, it was Zeus’ right at the time to give away his daughter to whomever he chose. But Demeter was a terrifying goddess when she was angry, so he advised his brother to keep the whole him giving permission to marry Kora thing under the radar.

Hades complies and instead of a long engagement, he waits until Kora wanders off alone/with a nymph friend or two to pick some flowers in a meadow. Then, with some help from Gaia, he breaks open the ground and charges forth with his creepy chariot of death, grabs the startled goddess, and drags her to the Underworld.

The moment Kora is raped/married, her name changes to Persephone. That’s not uncommon in Mythology. Names change to reflect a god’s purpose or role. Most gods had a whole slew of names depending on the occasion. Think of them more like titles.

Naturally, Demeter is furious and terrified for her daughter when she learns of her abduction, but more on her next week. This myth is about Persephone. Actually, part of the reason I wrote Persephone is that every version of the myth I heard growing up focused on Demeter’s anguish at losing her daughter, Hades and Zeus’ backroom deal, and the people suffering through winter. Not a single one of them focused on what Persephone was going through or her perspective of the myth. She’s treated like an item, a prize, by literally every being in the myth and every telling of it. Never as a personified concept like the rest of the gods.

Persephone’s transformation should be a fascinating story in and of itself, but we never get to hear it. In this one fell swoop, she goes from an innocent victim content to pick flowers all day to The Iron Queen. People didn’t fear Hades the way they feared Persephone. He was, by all accounts, a pretty laid back god. Persephone on the other hand was a force to be reckoned with. I wanted to tell that story. And I wasn’t the only one. Persephone has been retold to account for that lack over and over and over again throughout time. But more on that Wednesday.

Meanwhile, Persephone knows that eating the food of the Underworld will bind her to the land and negate any hope of future rescue. Apparently gods don’t actually need to eat to stay alive, because she resists the temptation for months until she’s tricked into eating 3-7 pomegranate seeds (the number varies depending on the myth, as does the flowers she’s picking, the number of nymphs with her, and any other detail. Myths were oral retellings and when they were written down, every author added their own spin. So never assume anyone got the details “wrong.” They’re just telling a different version) by the god Ascalapus, Hades’ gardener.

The pomegranate wasn’t just chosen for its taste. In terms of symbolism, it’s a pretty loaded fruit. It stands for death, fertility, and royalty. All things Persephone.

Ascalapus gets turned into a screech owl in retribution for his crime, and when Persephone is finally rescued from the Underworld, she’s still forced to return to the Underworld for a month every year for each seed she ate. And that, friends, is where Winter comes from.

Myths evolve and change over time with each retelling. Wednesday, I’ll be talking about some Persephone retellings throughout time, but I want to hear your favorite version of the myth? What details changed? Why?

Mythology Monday: Brumalia

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Originally, Brumalia was a holiday intended to honor Cronus, Demeter, and Bacchus. Bacchus by some beliefs was another facet of Hades’ personality so I chose to use it in my book. It was typically held in November, which makes no sense because it was intended to celebrate the Winter Solstice. Some sources indicate that the festival lasted for weeks, so that may explain the date discrepancy.

Brumalia was full of prophesied, visions, and not surprisingly, copious drinking. It really sounds like a surprisingly typical holiday party. There was even kissing under mistletoe and holly themed decorations.

So why did I use it in my book? I felt like the Underworld wouldn’t celebrate mainstream holidays like Christmas, but they would celebrate something around the same time. Hades is pretty considerate when it comes to encouraging the souls to keep their customs. Choosing an ancient holiday makes sense because he’s ancient. The celebration is kept open enough to where the souls could interpret it however they want. The palace had a ritzy party, but Brumalia was celebrated all across the Underworld in different ways.

Top Ten Tuesdays: Settings

Top ten Tuesdays are posted by The Broke and the Bookish. This weeks top ten list features settings you want to see more often in fiction.

1) Athens, Georgia. I want to see how other authors treat it. Plus it would be cool to recognize places in the book.

2) Cruise ships

3) Oxford, England

4) Paris, France

5) dystopian futures. What, I really like them

6) the moon. I read a book set on the moon once. It was pretty cool

7) the international space station. I think a grown up version of Xenon would be interesting. Like not the actual show, but a society on a space station. More like Battlestar Galactica, but with less cylons.

8) Outside of time. Think Ruby Red. I like time travelers

9) Islands, cause I’m jealous

10) Atlanta, same reason as Athens just lower on the list

Thursday Review: Clockwork Angel/Prince

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I’ll admit, I was really hesitant to read this spin off series by Cassandra Clare. I love the Immortal Instruments series, but I didn’t know if I cared about any other people in that universe, particularly in the past.

I’m so glad I checked these out of the library on a whim. I love them. The adventures of Will and Tess and Jem are every bit as fascinating as the adventures of Jace and Clary. I felt like Clockwork Angel started kind of slow but once it got going I was hooked. I literally just sat on my couch until I was done reading these books. I really like Tess, and I’m also really appreciative of the way Cassandra Clare handled the whole back in time thing with womens rights and what not. I’m all for historical accuracy, but it was really nice to read a modern acting protagonist and still have the old setting, but at the same time I felt sometimes it was a little jarring. Will isn’t all that rude by modern day standards so sometimes I kind of forgot when it was set and wondered why everyone seemed so shocked by his behavior.

Clockwork Prince I felt had faster pacing than Clockwork Angel, but I’m really not feeling the whole love triangle thing between Will, Jem, and Tess. I don’t actually feel like Tess is all that conflicted, she obviously has stronger feelings for Will, but she just feels sorry for Jem. It’s heart wrenching and all, but more condescending and predatory than dramatic. And again this is a place where I feel like the fact that it’s set in the past is jarring because the characters act so modern but then skip right on to marriage.

But my dislike of love triangles aside, I didn’t stop reading this book until I was finished. I didn’t put it down whatsoever. It was an action packed fun read and I can’t wait until the third book comes out.v

W… W…. Wednesday

W…W…Wednesday is hosted by “you should be reading.” All you have to do is answer these three questions.

1) What did you recently finish reading? Caller of Light by TJ Shaw, and Daughter of the Goddess by Rita Webb. Both books were fantastic and their reviews will be posted on here soon.

2) What are you reading right now? I’m getting caught up on the souls screamer series by Rachel Vincent. I LOVE this series. I couldn’t put it down. I went through My Soul to Steal, If I Die, Never to Sleep, and am about halfway through Before I Sleep.

3) What are you reading next? Angel Fall by Susan Ee, if it ever gets in from the library.

Top Ten Tuesday

Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by the Broke and the Bookish. Today’s top ten topics are top ten bookish goals for 2013.

Reading:

1) Keep up with readings for school. I’m finishing up my last semester of my masters degree and this semester it’s full time student teaching plus a class, so I’ll have academic readings for school and I’ll need to re-read what the kids are reading, plus I’ll need to read what the kids are writing!

2) Read a fun book every other week. Whether it’s young adult, fantasy or any other genre, I just don’t want to stop reading for fun. Sometimes the school reading kind of swallows my love for reading and I don’t want that to happen.

3) Read a classic on the alternate weeks. This will cross over with book one quite a bit. I read a lot of classics last year while prepping for the GRE Lit test, and while I still don’t love reading them as much as I love reading regular books, I appreciate the regular books more now. I make connections in books and movies that I didn’t before, even though as an English major, I’d read most of those books before. The classics are classic for a reason and I want to keep that knowledge fresh.

4) Read to my daughter every day. I was pretty good about this up until really recently. I should read to her daily.

5) Family reading. Again, this is something we did a lot for most of the year that we’ve fallen away from as our schedule picks up. I read books out loud to my husband and daughter every night before bed. It was fun, and now my husband knows what I’m talking about when I start chatting about my favorite books.

Writing:

6) Work in the Persephone universe every day. I’ve got a ton more books to write there and I need to get to work!

7) Work on something else a little every day. Doesn’t matter what.

8) Try to write a short story every month. I’d really like to get into a few anthologies.

9) Keep up with this blog.

10) Keep up with my school writing. I have a big portfolio due at the end of the semester…

Theres my ten purely bookish goals for 2013. Let’s see how I do.