I ended YALLFEST by attending the closing keynote with Brandon Sanderson and Brandon Mull.
Brandon Mull is the author of the FableHaven series. He and Sanderson live up the street from each other and they know each other really well, so their dynamic was really entertaining.
They told stories about when they were little and man did I relate. Sanderson tried to start a detective agency after reading a bunch of mysteries, but after three whole days he had to close down because there were no mysteries. I did the same thing, only I decided to MAKE a mystery and finger painted the neighbor’s car with mud then offered to help them figure out who did it.
The police were called. It was bad. Really, really bad.
Mull was really into Narnia. One time, he went to his Grandmother’s house and realized that she was a mysterious, old person. So he went through her closets. In one closet he found a door in the back wall. Heart beating in trepidation, he opened the door, ready to step through to a new and fascinating world. Instead he found a small room full of canned peaches. But he went back and told his friends that he really did go to Narnia and told them all about his adventures there.
I once convinced my kindergarten class I was catwoman’s daughter. In second grade I convinced my babysitter’s kids that I was actually an elf who was going to die unless they believed in santa. I convinced my third grade class I had telepathy. In fourth grade I had baby twin sisters, until my mom put a firm stop to that rumor, and in fifth grade I matured enough to realize I could just write this stuff down instead of lying to everyone. It’s crazy, and probably a bit self-absorbed, how much of myself I saw in the writers at the conference. The way they talked to each other, the way they talked about writing, about reading, about their nerdy childhoods. That was me. Every bit of it was me. Except this one story.
Mull got a call from the Make A Wish foundation about a little boy who wished to hear the end of the series before he died. Of course he told the boy the ending, but the entire experience changed him forever because books are an escape for everyone, but he never thought about what everyone might be escaping FROM. And if the only thing his books ever accomplish is THAT, he’ll die happy.
They were both really amazing. YALLFEST was a great conference. I highly recommend it.
This is a somewhat recent movie, so warning, spoilers ahead.
Max opens with a slice of life of a Marine in Afghanistan. Kyle, Max’s person, and a group of soldiers search a town for a hidden weapons cache. Max finds it and everyone’s super happy.
The scene cuts to Loralie Gilmore, I know she has a real name, but I don’t feel like looking it up right now, talking in the fakest southern accent imaginable on the clearest computer screen ever. Seriously, it’s like Kyle is in the room with her. Grouchy grandma, oh wait, that’s supposed to be her husband. Sure. Is behind her, fixing a perpetually broken sink, and mopey teen is in the living room playing video games. Kyle recaps Max’s heroic feat, Mrs. Gilmore declares “Ya’ll botha desurve a mehdle or somethin.”
Why? Seriously, why? Why is hollywood incapable of realizing that not everyone with a southern accent talks like a caricature? Agh! I’m going to have to sit through an entire MOVIE of this.
Oh, wait, they’re in Texas. Maybe…nope, still annoying, still fake. Also, why is she the only one with an accent? Literally no one else in the movie had one?
Anyway, Kyle is interrupted by another soldier saying that the brass needs to talk to him right now. Turns out, some of the weapons they found are missing. It’s been going on for awhile. Kyle swears he just handles the dog and is excused from the room. On the way out he confronts his best friend from childhood, Tyler, and says he didn’t know what he was doing before, but he knows now and he can’t cover for him. Come clean, or he will.
That night, Kyle is sleeping, Tyler is ominously getting ready for something, and Max is watching. Always watching.
The next day, things go south when Tyler insists they ignore Max’s signal to wait, which by the way looks no different than his all clear signal. Thank goodness Kyle is there to interpret. Kyle agrees and sends Max forward for some reason when boom, bang, explosions. Kyle rushes into the fray, Tyler ducks behind a rock. The smoke clears and Kyle’s been shot and Max is going nuts. Tyler’s about to shoot Max when other soldiers come in and subdue the dog.
Cut to pouty teenager, apparently named Justin, pirating a video game. He gives the copy to his friend Chuy, and says he two-hundred for it. Grumpy Dad rounds the corner and Chuy takes off. Grumpy dad chastises mopey kid for not coming to work this morning, this incredibly awkward and poorly acted exchange is blessedly cut short when soldiers come to the door bearing bad news.
At the funeral, a group of marines come about midway through the service, and because being late isn’t bad enough, walk right up to the front row and apologize to Mrs. Gilmore for being late. Max is barking and going nuts and eventually gets free so he can curl up beside the coffin. I know it’s supposed to be a touching moment, but when Mrs. Gilmore nods at the paster, indicating he can continue the service, all I can think of is how rude it was that they literally just interrupted a funeral! Wait until the part where everyone is lining up to pay their respects like a normal person. I can see the dog getting loose from he back of the church, but what were they doing walking up to the front like that?
To make matters worse, while the family is trying to mourn, Max is resisting leaving the coffin. He’s barking and growling, but as he passes Justin, he grows strangely calm.
“Who are you?” A true idiot of a marine asks in a slightly amazed voice.
Yes, who could the child standing between Kyle’s parents be?
“Our son?” Mrs. Gilmore asks, gradually dropping the accent as the movie progresses.
“He must be able to sense it. Can you help us get him in the cage? I mean, I know it’s your brother’s funeral and everything, but it’ll just take a minute.”
So the family leaves the casket to walk the dog until he gets to his cage.
Look, I’m not saying the dog shouldn’t have come to the funeral, but why did they try to make him leave while everyone was still milling around? Like, it’s bad enough they got there late and disrupted the entire funeral once, can’t they just wait? Maybe the family wanted a minute? My god, have some respect.I mean, this family has been through enough. Do they really have to watch their sons dog cry and fight as he wrestled into a cage and muzzled?
The scene shifts to Justin pirating another game, but his heart just isn’t into it, so he goes to explore his brother’s room. His dad interrupts with a speech about how Justin has so much to learn from his brother about “being a man.” The two get into an argument, and my hatred for grumpy dad increases, because seriously, your son is allowed to mourn to. If you can’t manage to say something comforting, shut up.
Their argument is interrupted by Mrs. Gilmore telling them that “they’re going to kill Max.” Again, WHY would they even tell the family that right now? There son just died! It’s like the screen writers are trying to make this movie about mourning and moving on, only they’ve forgotten that death is something that needs to be mourned and moved on from.
Despite the dog being dangerous and unstable, the family gets approval to take him home. “Kyle’s gone,” grumpy dad snaps when Justin points out that he doesn’t want to do this. “This is your dog now.”
Please don’t eat me
Okay, but maybe he doesn’t want a dog. Maybe he doesn’t want HIS BROTHER’S dog. Even ignoring the fact that it’s a huge, unstable dog with flashing teeth that they have to keep chained up in the backyard so he doesn’t hurt anyone and that’s a hell of a lot of responsibility to lay at the feet of a child, there’s an emotional component there, a living, breathing reminder that this dog is somewhat nice around you because it basically thinks he’s his dead brother. Or senses something of his dead brother in him, or I don’t know. Dead brother. Like, it’s a lot. And I’m not saying he shouldn’t keep the dog, but it’s really disturbing to me that Justin doesn’t have a voice in this. That his grief and his feelings aren’t respected.
Also, not cool having your dog chained up in the front yard in the heat of a Texas summer. No.
The next day, Justin goes off with his BMXing group of friends and meets Chuy’s cousin, Carmen. She got kicked out of her house because she got a tattoo. She’s not impressed with anyone. She has a snarky answer for everything. And she’s a dog training expert. She’s also really hung up on respect. Respect your dad, don’t let him disrespect me, respect Max. It’s like her buzz word. I want to like her as a character because given proper development, she could be interesting, but she’s just this over the top caricature. I don’t know that it’s her fault though? It may just be that she’s the only character that has a laugh track. Every time she says anything, there’s a group of boys in the background going “ooh! Dang!”
Cue dog training montage. Max makes progress, yay! As a thank you, Mrs. Gilmore invites Carmen to THE most awkward family dinner ever. First Mrs. Gilmore cries because she overcooked the food because she was distracted thinking about Kyle, then when Carmen reveals she knows so much about dogs because her father and brother trains pitfalls, Grumpy Dad goes “to fight?” “Um, no, jerk. He rescues them.”
I feel so bad for her character. She just keeps being put in SUPER awkward situation after situation.
Also, commentary on family dynamic. The parents feel like they should be set in the fifties. Maybe sixties. Like maybe they’re the generation that raised Kitty and Red Foreman. But the kids are “modern” only it’s actually like they’re an old person’s idea of what kids are like these days. All sulky and disrespectful and pirating video games on giant screens with complex codes and numbers flashing by. Carmen is your modern girl that doesn’t need anyone’s approval but her own, tough as nails, tons of attitude who by the second act of the movie is following Justin’s lead and wearing dresses and makeup.
Who the hell are you?
Anyway, Tyler randomly shows up. Without calling. After dark. In the middle of dinner, to pay his respects and asks “I’m sorry, who are you?” to Carmen when she asks a really logical question about him being discharged. Does no one have manners? Max goes nuts and lunges at him. “Dogs are pretty good judges of character,” Carmen points out later, just in case we didn’t get the piling heaps of hints that maybe Tyler is a bad guy.
The next day, Justin and Max go on a bike ride, seeming to be relaxed and happy, and settled in a routine. They head to their biker friends and Justin flirts with Carmen and shows off what an awesome bike rider he is.
Their happy mood is dashed when they get home to find a huge metal cage in the middle of their yard.
“Your father doesn’t want to argue about it,” Mrs. Gilmore says as she scrubs dishes.
Why would anyone argue about putting a dog in a metal box in the middle of a sun filled yard in the heat of a Texas summer. What is wrong with these people?
The scene shifts to a Fourth of July Parade. The parents are having a moment of quiet grieving together while Justin realizes that maybe the dog that has PTSD and can’t stand the sound of explosions or gun shots may have a reaction to fireworks and rushes home. In a truly touching moment, he climbs in the cage with Max and there’s this sense that they are there for each other. Which is good. Because Justin’s parents sure never stopped to think that maybe all the military pride stuff might make their other son think about his dead brother.
I think this is one of those thinks that bothers me because I’m a parent. I could have enjoyed this movie so much more pre-Bella, but now that I’ve had her, I have to look at things from a parent’s perspective, and I just can’t help being mad at them. I can’t imagine the grief they’re going through, I honestly can’t. It’s too terrible to think about. But it’s like the narrative never even acknowledges that Justin might feel it to beyond a passing moment of sadness when someone mentions his brother. Actual grief. Like, it would be okay if at any point in the movie the adults acknowledged “we haven’t really been there for you, I’m sorry,” but they don’t. And the narrative treats that like nothing odd happened.
The scene shifts to Tyler who is now working for Grumpy Dad. Grumpy dad listens to Tyler and has a more real conversation with him inside five minutes than he’s had with his son the entire movie. It’s because they’re both real men.
Tyler implies that Kyle died because of Max, so in a truly ridiculous move, Grumpy Dad goes home and tries to kill Max. To his credit, he tries to take him somewhere else first, but when Max doesn’t comply, he pulls out his gun and gets ready to shoot.
“Dad? What are you doing.” Justin demands.
“Go inside.”
Right. Because it’s totally cool to shoot the dog your son has bonded with as long as he’s INSIDE the house. The dog that senses something of his brother in him, his dead brother. The dog he’s been responsible for and worked hard to train.
“It’s his fault,” the dad explains. And I get its grief, I do. But…
Justin talks him down, pointing out that Kyle would never put people in danger by working with an unstable dog (I mean, YOU would totally put your family, your son, and your neighbors in danger by bringing a dog you KNOW is unstable to our house than not sticking around for five minutes to make sure your chain can hold when Max lunges once (it didn’t, for the record)) But KYLE would never do that.”
Dad relents with…and here’s the thing I can’t forgive him for “If he messes up ONCE, he’s gone.”
YOUR SON JUST LOST HIS BROTHER. This is ALL he has left of him and he didn’t even WANT the dog! And now you’re going to put THAT kind of pressure on him! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!
Anyway, Justin knows something is fishy about Tyler’s story, so he seeks out the funeral interrupter and asks for the scoop. Tyler was discharged by the administration, not because of a medical issue though, he’ll look into it. (Aren’t these records supposed to be private?) And he gives Justin a classified DVD to watch.
Justin takes the DVD to Carmen, figuring it’s dog training tips from the army or something, and instead is treated to a montage of amazingly filmed footage between his brother and Max, from puppyhood to adulthood. It’s ridiculously gorgeous and sentimental, and Justine wasn’t the only one getting weepy during it.
BTW, cue another super awkward situation for Carmen.
This is a gorgeous shot. The colors! Wow!
Then Emilio shows up and ruins the moment by demanding more pirated video games. He insults Carmen, basically implies that it’s a good thing Kyle is dead, and takes a phone call from…Tyler.
Justin demands his money up front, and as soon as Emilio drives away, uses the money to give Max a scent to follow. They ride through the forest and find Emilio, Tyler, a Deputy, and two members of a Mexican drug Cartel talking about a weapons exchange. Tyler is selling weapons across the border. Color me surprised.
Two dobermans catch on to the fact that they have company and chase Max and Justin through the woods. Max leads the dogs away from Justin. Justin crashes his bike and leaves it behind, getting to the highway with Max and catching a ride to the vets office to treat Max’s bite wounds. When he gets home, the police are waiting to take Max away for biting that deputy. Justin starts to object, but Kyle takes him to the side and after an actually deeply interesting exchange that implies that if Justin doesn’t keep his mouth shut his whole family is going to die.
“I’m just a small fish in a big pond. The big fish sell weapons all over the world and then send wide-eyed hicks like me and your brother over there so we can get shot and killed by ’em so they can cry their crocodile tears, salute the flag, and then sell some more.”
I actually liked the dynamic they had between Justin and Tyler. There was a bit of the cliche “you’re just like me,” but more than that, there was a sense of fear. This is a kid. He’s what, nineteen? And he’s in way over his head with scary people who will kill entire families to get what they want. What he’s saying to Justine isn’t from a place of being evil, it’s from a place of fear. And it’s an interesting departure from his role in the movie so far as the cartoonish villain trying to kill the dog before it can “tell” on him. I wish they’d approached it like this from the get go.
They take Max away to euthanize him, but he escapes once he gets to the pound. Meanwhile, Grumpy dad catches on that something is amiss with Kyle when he catches Kyle and the Deputy taking a bunch of guns out of a storage unit. Dad is kidnapped, but manages to call home and tell his wife “I’m hanging out at the hunting cabin, don’t worry.”
“We have a hunting cabin?” Justin demands.
“No. We do not have a hunting cabin,” Mrs. Gilmore explains.
Cue a wild and crazy rescue mission with Max, Carmen, Chuy, and most importantly Grumpy Dad and Justin working together. Mrs. Gilmore gets a shining moment when she yells at the police for tearing up the neighborhood looking for a missing dog when her husband is missing and they won’t even consider looking for him until he’s been gone over forty-eight hours. Other shining moments she had include when she finally pointed out to her husband that he should ask what’s going on with his son because she doesn’t want to lose another one. I’m actually kind of glad Justin didn’t open up to him though, because that would have been really unrealistic after the way he’s been raised. She also has a moment where she tells Justin she’s “been keeping the peace between you and your father for too long,” that felt realistic, yet annoying, because her husband is clearly the one in the wrong. Yes, the kid is sulky and has a bad attitude, but he’s not even treated like a person, so who can blame him.
For a minute it looks like the dog dies. SPOILER, he doesn’t. And we get a touching moment with Justin talking to Kyle’s headstone.
It wasn’t an awful movie. In fact, according to Bella, it was “The goodest movie ever! I didn’t know you could walk a dog without a leash or ride a bike with your dog.”
But the weird out of sync with time feel, the flat characterization, and the ineptitude of the parents left a lot to be desired. If you want the feel good highlights without the angst, watch this instead.
From Dothraki to Drones: Sci-Fi Fantasy Mashup was easily the coolest panel I attended during YA Lit Fest. This panel featured Marie Lu, Richelle Mead, Brandon Sanderson, Brendan Reichs, Scott Westerfeld, and Mindy McGinnis. I’ve talked about most of those authors before, but let me tell you, listening to Richelle Mead, Brandon Sanderson, and Scott Westerfeld talk is amazing. Listening to them talk TO EACH OTHER is a level of Epic I didn’t know my life was lacking.
About the authors:
Richelle Mead wrote the Vampire Academy series, the Bloodlines series, the Glittering Court, Gameboard of the Gods, the Georgina Kincaid series, the Dark Swan series, and she just released a book based on eastern fairy tales called soundless. She was another person I was super excited about seeing at the conference. I did get her to autograph my copy of Vampire Academy, but unfortunately I chickened out on asking her to sign my notebook because she was on her way out the door and there was a line.
Brendan Reichs wrote the Virals series, which I know nothing about. He was hysterical though, so I may have to check it out. But it’s related to the Bones series, which I really wasn’t a huge fan of (book wise) so maybe not.
Mindy McGinnis wrote Not a Drop to Drink, in a Handful of Dust, and a Madness so Discreet. I haven’t read them, but I’m loving the titles! She had a funny story about how she had a lightbulb moment when she realized that her world could have any animal on it she could imagine. It didn’t even have to be carbon based life forms. Literally anything she could imagine. So she made domestic cats the size of tigers.
I’m going to be honest, I spent most of my time reveling in the fact that I was breathing the same air as my favorite authors, but I did manage to get a few notes down.
Brandon Sanderson said the way he writes such amazingly long books is that he treats each book like it’s a trilogy. So he basically writes three books then writes an anthology of short stories that get woven in, and then during edits everything gets smoothed over and perfected. Sanderson also talked about his laws (check out Sanderson’s laws if you’re interested in world building or magic systems at all, it’s worth the read) and the strange attractor, where you take two familiar things and combine them in a way that makes them unfamiliar.
They talked a lot about setting and how in Science Fiction and Fantasy the setting is basically a character and as a writer they have to figure out what the setting wants when they world build. They need to figure out what is the thing everything needs to get by, like in Dune it was water. Figuring out the limits of a setting makes you get creative. The physics of that world have to follow the scientific method, including the magic systems. One difference they mentioned between “magic” systems in sci-fi and fantasy is that magic cares who does it, science works for everyone. So in Star Wars, the force = a magic system, plasma blasters = tech. Science fiction is implausible, fantasy is impossible.
Both genres reflect contemporary issues, like I’ve said a million times, if you want to know what a society fears, read their stories. Fiction is the truth inside the lie. Only in sci-fi and fantasy those contemporary issues are set against the backdrop of implausible new landscapes.
Best panel ever. I really can’t even capture how I felt listening to it. It was amazing.
Want to get in the Holiday spirit? Here are the Christmas movie I watch every year without fail.
While You were Sleeping
I love this one. It’s so sappy and romantic. It’s the perfect holiday film. I remember wanting to adopt Sandra Bullock. I was six. That’s how well she pulled off acting cute and lonely.
Love Actually
The Christmas chick flick to end all Christmas Chick Flicks. I love the way all the plots come together.
Rise of the Guardians
Also works great as an easter movie. Seriously though, this is a really good cartoon. I can watch this one over and over again. Which is good, given my six year old who also loves it.
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
It must be watched every Christmas. No matter what. Sure, it’s kind of painful to sit through,but it’s a classic. This year I’m going to see it at the Center for Puppetry Arts, so hopefully that will help.
The Santa Clause
Just the first one. But it’s a great Christmas movie.
Elf
This movie should irritate the life out of me, but it doesn’t. It’s well on its way to becoming a classic, and it’s kind of cool to have been around when a classic was in theaters.
Any made for TV holiday movie I saw growing up
Whenever I can find them, I watch them. My favorites were the one about the mannequin coming to life to be the girls new mom and the Groundhog day one about Christmas. The new ones I don’t like as much. But that’s because I didn’t grow up with them.
Any Christmas episode of any show I watch
It’s fun to watch my favorite characters do Christmasy things! Particularly when there’s a dark twist on it (Buffy was always good at that).
My daughter turned six last month and we went to Disneyland for her birthday. I love Disney, she loves Disney, we are a Disney family. I know disney isn’t perfect, but frankly, I’m getting tired of hearing about how letting my daughter look up to princesses is going to make her weak, needy, entitled, or obsessed with princesses.
First of all, my daughter is a modern six year old. Yes, she loves princesses but she also loves Toothless and Darth Vader. But even if she didn’t I wouldn’t be worried about her looking up to Disney characters, and here’s why.
These are the Disney princesses and notable female characters (not from sequels or minor characters. I’m also not counting Studio Ghibli, Marvel, or Star Wars because Disney only recently acquired them) that have existed in her lifetime.
All of these women made things happen. They weren’t passive. They all exhibited bravery, intelligence, a good work ethic, and all kinds of positive character traits for a young girl to model herself after. They all have flaws, yes, but overall not horrible female role models. And they aren’t cookie cutters of each other when it comes to being feminine or tough or having identical caring and sweet attitudes.
But, yes, they have flaws. I don’t just mean character flaws, I mean there are some flaws in the choices that were made when constructing these characters. And since these movies were made for today’s children, by all means pick them apart for the messages they send. It’s important to do so because there’s always room for improvement.
I turned 29 last month. This set of princesses and notable characters came out between my birth and Bella’s.
I had an awesome childhood.A bit more passive, but for the most part, strong, brave female characters who get stuff done. Less so with Belle, Ariel, and Jenny, but they were created REALLY early in my lifetime. These can be picked apart for content because they are new enough in terms of messages sent, but with the fact that many of them are over 20 years old in kind. So yes, when we watch these movies, I’ll pause and talk to Bella about misconceptions and foolish choices.
My mom is 56. The third set of princesses and notable female characters came out when my mom was a little girl.
Aurora is pretty passive as are the vast majority of these characters. But can we maybe agree that a princess intended for the audience my mother belonged to as an infant maybe won’t hold up to the feminist values of today? Why would a princess intended for an audience in 1959 meet today’s standards of ANYTHING? When Bella watches these movies, we have LONG talks about how princesses can do anything princes can, but that not everyone is like Rapunzel or Tiana. Some people are more passive and that’s okay to. They still deserve to live.
My Grandmother is 80. The fourth set of pictures is from my grandmother’s pre-kid lifetime. Snow White came out when she was four. 1937.
We talk a lot about manners and being nice when Bella manages to sit through one of these movies. We watch the 2003 Peter Pan instead of the Disney one, we talk about how Cinderella was brave because she survived a really negative situation with grace. When she’s older we’ll talk a bit more about how Cinderella lived through some pretty serious emotional abuse and as one awesome blogger pointed out, sometimes being strong is just surviving until you can get out of a really bad situation. We watched Once Upon a Time in Wonderland and talked about how Alice grew up and kept her curiosity and wonder. And we haven’t made it through Lady and the Tramp because it’s in the vault and I honestly don’t remember it, but I bet there’s a dialogue we can have.
Look, I get that Cinderella, Aurora, and Snow White are on every piece of disney merchandise, but every time I hear someone start in on how horrible disney princesses are as feminist role models and that person starts talking about those three, I feel like hitting my head against a wall. 1937. Times have changed a bit since then. Compare Rapunzel to Snow White and you’re going to see a massive difference. I couldn’t even sit through Snow White as a kid. My daughter definitely won’t. Again, there are some issues with disney princesses, but can we stick to the ones intended for kids born this decade to pull those examples from since we’re talking about their impact on children?
That whole “Cinderella ate My daughter” thing drives me nuts because seriously, why would you expect a princess created in 1950 to teach your daughter anything other than the ideals of 1950?! Just have a dialogue with your kids and stop expecting Disney to do it for you. If you honestly can’t see SOMETHING in each of these women to hold up as a positive attribute, that’s a real problem because it’s not like any of these characters are bad people.
Also, why don’t we hold boy characters to the same standards? “Most girls aren’t princesses.” Yeah, most boys aren’t written by radioactive spiders, but you know, at least princesses EXIST. “They just wait around for their princes to save them.” Not since the 50’s. “They all revolve around relationships.” So does life, but okay, name me a super hero who doesn’t have a girlfriend/or a tortured backstory completely defining his character that involves a girlfriend. “They’re pretty.” And every super hero is hot and strong, or a hot nerd. But we don’t pick them apart. “They’re too girly.” No. First of all, no they aren’t. Not even in my grandmother’s generation were the princesses/female characters uniformly anything. But secondly, what is wrong with girly? I’m girly. My daughter’s girly. Girly is a spectrum. The existence of girly shouldn’t offend us, being limited to only being “girly” should.
Super heroes are allowed to exist without constant criticism. What does it say to our girls that their heroes are constantly being thrown under the bus for being too girly while their male counterparts are never called into question? What does it say to our BOYS that female protagonists are constantly being criticized while their heroes actions and attributes are never called into question.
Another panel I recently attended was ‘Once Upon A(nother) Time: Fairy Tales Retold. Here’s the authors and a bit of what they talked about.
Danielle Paige wrote the Dorothy Must Die series and the television show Hemlock. She was the moderator of the panel and made sure all the authors had a crown or tiara. I had two chances to get her autograph, and both times chickened out because she was on her way somewhere, and there was a moment of eye contact and hesitation like she was silently asking “Did you want me to sign that,” and I missed both windows :(. She was very casual, very laid back, and very entertaining.
E.K Johnston wrote A Thousand Nights, as did Renee Ahdieh. Not co-wrote. They both rewrote the same fairy tale, which made putting them on the same panel kind of odd? I mean, if it was a Thousand Nights panel, that would be one thing, lots of different perspectives, but it was like everyone else on the panel had written about different fairy tales or approached it in a different way, and then there were these two authors, one from the culture that produced the fairy tale, one not, and I think she felt that. I think it made it hard for her to answer questions without feeling like she was stepping on any toes. It would have been like having the writer of Descendants and The School of Good and Evil at the same panel. They’re in direct competition.But maybe they aren’t, I don’t know. I haven’t read either book so they may be entirely different.
One thing I really noticed at the conference was how much I HAVEN’T read. In most circles, I can kind of pride myself on being on top of new releases and familiar with most books. Here, I was in a completely new league. For every author I knew absolutely everything about, there were three I’d been *meaning* to get to, but there’s so many books! So little time. Makes me wonder what else I’ve been missing out on.
Marissa Meyer is famous for her Lunar Chronicles, which I absolutely love. I really wanted to get her autograph, but she said she was on her way to another panel, so I didn’t get a chance to :(. She didn’t say much during the panel, which was a shame because I’m really interested in her perspective. She wrote such an amazing and interesting series.
Lockhart wrote We were Liars and has a fantasy anthology coming out next year. I haven’t read her book, but she had a wry humor which I definitely appreciated, so now I need to add her story to my TBR pile.
Soman Chainani wrote “The School for Good and Evil,” which I actually have checked out from my library right now. He was very anti-disney, and bashed The Little Mermaid, which I hated him for, and Pan, which I loved him for.
Seriously. Pan. I’ve never been so angry when watching a movie. That wasn’t Peter Pan! There’s an origin story for Peter Pan in Little White Bird, this didn’t just contradict everything ABOUT the source material, it changed Peter’s character into someone uncertain and scared and that’s NEVER been Peter. I liked the idea of making Hook and Peter friends but they failed to deliver because they weren’t each other’s foils. They were caricatures picked up from another story. And I’m not even going to go into TigerLily. Ugh.
Anyway….
Renee Ahdieh wrote The Wrath and the Dawn, which is also based on A Thousand and One Nights. I remember seeing her cover making the rounds before her book came out and thinking it was amazing. I’ll definitely be adding it to my TBR pile along with Johnston’s version. I found it interesting the different impact that fairy tales had on the author’s growing up. Chainani and Lockhart were exposed to the Grimm versions and the darker versions from a young age and kind of resented the sugar coating of those tales, whereas Johnston and the others were raised with the disney versions like myself and were willing to fight to the death to defend them. Personally, I’m a fan of both. Enjoy the magic when you’re little and revel in the darkness as you grow. There’s a lot of layers to fairy tales. Let them mean different things to different people. There’s always going to be something that resonates.
Homeward Bound is one of those movies I watched over and over and over again as a child. And now, because karma is real, I watch it over and over and over again with my child. But hey, there are worse movies. I still kind of love Homeward Bound.
I’m not going to do a long summary of homeward bound, both because the premise is pretty simple, and I’m afraid if I get to typing I might discover that I can actually reproduce the whole movie verbatim.
So here’s my attempt at brevity:
Chance, Shadow, and Sassy (2 dogs, 1 cat) are left with a friend of the families during their human’s temporary move, they’re not content to be left behind. They escape the farm and take off on a dangerous journey across the Sierra Mountains to reunite with their loved ones. Along the way, they run into all kinds of problems, but are ultimately successful in finding their way home.
Great movie. Love it. Love the soundtrack, love the scenery, love the characters, love everything about it, except for something I never realized until I was an adult.
A temporary move.
The Seaver family, comprised of three children, one wife, and one newly married into the family husband, move at some point shortly before the school year begins and return by Thanksgiving because the brand new husband has a vey temporary job in San Fransisco, which is incidentally within reasonable enough driving distance from their home to visit on weekends.
Why? Why would you do that to three school aged children? It wasn’t even an entire semester? The oldest is in High School! It’s not a small deal to entirely move schools during a single semester. What good does coming back just in time for Thanksgiving break to end and finals to begin do? If it was a year, I’d understand, but it was just the I’d say it was for the experience of living in a new place but it wasn’t like they moved far, and again they could have visited on weekends.
Did I mention that they literally made this move the day they got married? The balloons and Chance’s digestive issue prove it was literally the same day. The kids seem to have a great relationship with Bob and all, but way to leave them zero time to process that there’s this huge and permanent change in their family before driving all night to leave their beloved animals that they clearly use as coping mechanisms with a near stranger.
Also, They wouldn’t even go inside this lady’s house. They’re leaving their animals with her for five months and they won’t even go inside for a few minutes to socialize. That’s how thoughtless/bad at planning these people are. It’s either thoughtless (as in they just didn’t think about the massive favor she was doing wit them and consider that maybe taking her out to dinner or something would be polite) or bad at planning because they left immediately after their wedding, drove overnight, and were in such bad shape time wise to get Bob to his new job, that they couldn’t stop for longer than a few minutes, even if it meant giving the kids some time out of the car and to really say goodbye to their animals.
Those poor children. No wonder Shadow was so determined to get back to Peter. His parents aren’t looking out for him at all.
This seriously bothers me more every time I watch it. Despite my issues with the humans, it’s still a great movie. I just wish I wasn’t watching it for the fiftieth time this year.
I have a confession to make. I’m a wanna be Pinterest Mom. I say wanna be because I have not reached the true levels of epic parenting worthy of a Pinterest board. My rice crispy treat Christmas trees looked…terrible. I mean, absolutely terrible. But my reindeer cookies turned out adorable! My Ninja Break cookies fell to pieces, but my sock snowmen are my daughter’s favorite Christmas decoration, and maybe I’m still sweeping up glitter from when Santa visited last year (I sort of forgot I have cats who play in the fireplace), but it’s been a year and my daughter is still talking about it. I save more pins than I’ll ever even attempt to try, but I do try some of them, and maybe I give nothing back to the pinning community, but only because all my creative energy goes into writing. I want to make cute bento lunches and have a cool new craft every day. I want to be that mom. But it just takes so much effort, so I settle for using cute sandwich cutters and sticker books then call it a day.
Despite my laziness (and please don’t misinterpret this. I’m not saying Moms that don’t do those things are lazy. I’m saying I’M lazy because I totally could. I have the time. I have the craft materials. I have the inclination) I don’t stress about it overmuch because my daughter is happy and healthy and loved. If the Pinterest Moms stopped doing all their awesomeness, their kids would also be happy and healthy and loved. I don’t think any particularly crafty mom is under the impression the only way their children will survive to adulthood is with unique bento lunches and themed snacks.
But you know what? It DOES make their kids happy (if you don’t think cute shaped snacks make a children happy, you haven’t spent much time with a five year old) and it makes Moms happy to do things that make their kids happy. And if they have the time, and the materials, and the inclination, what harm does it do as long as they aren’t being utter snobs about it?
I’m so tired of people accusing these moms of showing off when they post their cute ideas to Pinterest with detailed instructions, so that people like me, who just can’t think of one more elf on the shelf pose to save their lives can also get in on the creative mom magic. I’m tired of people looking at these moms and feeling threatened, or saying they’re pathetic, or have some sick need to live through their children and it’s really all about them because the kids don’t care. I’m tired of people linking this to entitlement culture and saying that somehow, leaving carrots for the reindeer along with Santa’s cookies is going to lead to spoiled children who grow up and become useless members of society.
It needs to stop
Children hear their moms making snippy comments about someone having too much time on their hands and it makes a powerful impression. People without children, people who are not impacted whatsoever by the existence of cute deserts of elves on shelves, jump in to make fun of these women whose only sin is that they’re trying to do something cute and fun.
I’ve seen these women deflate. I’ve seen unbelievably crafty, talented moms who used to take so much joy in planning these moments flush when they talk about them. “Oh, it’s silly,” or “it really didn’t take that much time,” or “I don’t normally…” all because people took something they loved, something that wasn’t hurting anyone at all, and ripped it to shreds in the name of humor.
That alone would be sad enough, but here’s the thing, the attack of Pinterest moms (or for that matter any attack on moms who aren’t crafty, who work, who don’t work, who breast feed, who don’t breastfeed, who attach, who free range, who wear green, whatever) is a symptom of a larger problem. Everything that women do, everything that women enjoy, is under constant attack, mostly by other women.
Women who enjoy dressing up and putting on makeup and coordinating everything try to hard.Women who don’t make that effort are lazy, terrible people. Books that appeal to women, like Twilight, are torn to shreds on a level that books that appeal to boys, like Maze Runner, never do. Boys who read Twilight are judged on a level that girls who read Maze Runner never are. “Not like other girls” is a heavy compliment. “Boy” shows are literally cancelled if too many girls like them.
This constant critique, the constant belittling of all things girls could possibly get any enjoyment from, has a powerful effect on society. Women are constantly trying to strike a balance, because if they try too hard they get torn to shreds, but if they don’t do anything they’ll be judged just as harshly. Mostly this results in a lot of hedging. “Oh, this old thing.” “Yeah, I just had a lot of time on my hands this morning.” “Oh, I know, I look terrible, I just…” “Oh, I know it’s silly, but….”
It needs to stop. Women need to stop apologizing for getting enjoyment out of the things they like. And we need to stop making other women feel like they have to. This season, let’s make an effort to stop ripping each other to shreds.
Starting with Pinterest moms.
The next panel event I attended was an author chat with Meg Cabot and Melissa de la Cruz. I’ve already talked about Cruz, so I’ll talk a bit more about Meg Cabot.
Cabot wrote The Princess Diaries, the Airhead series, the Abandon series (which almost stopped me from getting published, but that’s another story), The Avalon High series and a ton of other middle grade, YA, and adult books. She’s impressive. I didn’t get as many notes from this one because there wasn’t enough room. Meg Cabot talked a bit about working with Anne Hathaway and Julie Andrews. Mostly she talked about her new middle grade series, Diaries of a Middle School Princess, though she did touch on the Airhead series, which made me happy. Most of the panel featured the writers answering questions from the crowd. It was really precious watching the little kids try to articulate their questions when they were so star struck! But I was most impressed with how much time and attention Cabot and Cruz gave each question. They were so sweet and so respectful and so kind. It was just really heartening to watch.
I got a wristband to get Cabot’s autograph, but every time I stopped by her line it was an hour deep, so I opted to go to panels instead, because while signatures are awesome, just listening to all these writers talk about their process was just amazing to me. Plus it was great exposure to new books.
The next day, Justin goes off with his BMXing group of friends and meets Chuy’s cousin, Carmen. She got kicked out of her house because she got a tattoo. She’s not impressed with anyone. She has a snarky answer for everything. And she’s a dog training expert. She’s also really hung up on respect. Respect your dad, don’t let him disrespect me, respect Max. It’s like her buzz word. I want to like her as a character because given proper development, she could be interesting, but she’s just this over the top caricature. I don’t know that it’s her fault though? It may just be that she’s the only character that has a laugh track. Every time she says anything, there’s a group of boys in the background going “ooh! Dang!”
Richelle Mead wrote the Vampire Academy series, the Bloodlines series, the Glittering Court, Gameboard of the Gods, the Georgina Kincaid series, the Dark Swan series, and she just released a book based on eastern fairy tales called soundless. She was another person I was super excited about seeing at the conference. I did get her to autograph my copy of Vampire Academy, but unfortunately I chickened out on asking her to sign my notebook because she was on her way out the door and there was a line. 
Kaitlin Bevis 